BENTLEY MEMOIRS New Zealand Part 2

David Bentley

David was Head of Asset Management at CIPFA for over 20 years but has recently ‘semi-retired’ and moved to live in the Scottish Highlands north of Inverness. If you are interested in his photography website and ‘Grumpy’ travel guides, they can be seen at https://davidjbentleyphotography.com/ .You may even be tempted to stay at his Bed and Breakfast which can be viewed at cuillichmill.co.uk; if it’s any comfort, he assures me that he is not responsible for cooking the breakfasts.

Here is David’s Part 2 of his New Zealand adventures, then a return to his adopted Scottish home. thank you David for your dry humour and bad puns! 

I was going to write a moderately serious article for this edition, but the editor appears to be far more interested in my holiday exploits and random silly stuff than my efforts at property related content. As many will know, the editor can be very persuasive so I’m afraid I have caved in to her demands. 

In the last edition we were halfway through a holiday in New Zealand, so if you were in any way remotely interested, I’ve promised to finish that one off first. 

Dunedin and some bad puns 

As most of you will probably know, ‘Dùn Èideann’ in Gaelic means ‘castle on the rock’ and thus appropriately is the Gaelic name for Edinburgh. It was also the inspiration for Dunedin on the southeast coast of New Zealand’s South Island where Charles Kettle, the city surveyor (not sure if he was ever a member of ACES?) was instructed to create a city that emulated the Scottish capital. I’m sure there’s lots of kettle jokes, but I just can’t seem to brew any up, maybe I’ve just gone off the boil? Anyway, Charles was in his element, it was just his cup of tea, and he steamed in to design a regular uniform grid layout similar to Edinburgh’s new town. No there wasn’t a castle on a rock, but he did his best with the topography given to him, and the town of today still boasts those links to Bonnie Scotland with pipe bands, various malt whiskies, highland games, fringe festival, and even a haggis ceremony. I can’t say it really felt like being in Edinburgh. For example, prices weren’t overly inflated, there were no tacky souvenir shops, and there wasn’t a ‘see you Jimmy’ hat with accompanying ginger wig in sight. 

Dunedin is also the home to Baldwin Street which currently holds the Guinness record for the steepest road in the world. Again, this is down to our Mr Kettle, whose grid pattern didn’t account for terrain, so they just built it as they found it. The surface of the road, however, has to be concrete, as tarmac would just flow down to the bottom in times of extreme heat. Fortunately, at the time of our visit the heat was bearable, and we managed to make it all of the 350m up to the top. 

Baldwin Street Signage

Baldwin Street

As you can imagine, residents have mixed views of the tourist activity brought about by the notoriety of the street. Some clearly want nothing to do with it, building high fences, erecting keep-out signs and closing curtains in the middle of the day. Others clearly are rolling with it, setting up shops and a couple selling home printed certificates to people who make it all the way to the top by foot and no, I wasn’t tempted (in the certificate that is). 

The street is also the venue for an annual race known as ‘the Baldwin Street Gutbuster’, which involves running from the bottom to the top and all the way back down again. The event attracts several hundred competitors annually, with a record of 1 minute and 56 seconds, and no I wasn’t tempted. 

Other weird and whacky events have taken place over the years. People have pogoed up it, cycled up it, scootered down it, skateboarded down it, and even wheelie binned down it (which didn’t end too well for the people involved), and no I wasn’t tempted by any of these. 

Anyway, after all that Dunedin stuff, we actually stopped a few miles outside ‘the Edinburgh of the South’ on the Otago Peninsula where it was a bit quieter and you’re not pestered by out-of-control wheelie bins. The peninsula is famous for its albatrosses, penguins, seals, sea-lions and the only castle in New Zealand (albeit a mock one). Hence the wildlife pictures that I’ve overloaded the editor with, which she may or may not add to the article [Ed – wildlife in previous issue of ACES’ Terrier]. 

Queenstown 

Queenstown Trail

Fishing at Sunset

Our last few days in NZ were spent in Queenstown which claims to be the adventure sports capital of the world. While bungee jumping was invented in the UK, Queenstown was the first place to run it as a commercial operation. People are drawn from all over to fling themselves off a bridge and hope a large elastic band will be enough to stop them face-planting the rocks below. I’ve been reliably informed Queenstown was named after Queen Victoria just because of her love of extreme sports and bungee jumping in particular. Surprisingly, it’s one thing they don’t tell you about on a tour of Balmoral. 

Back in Queenstown we were spoilt for choice between bungee jumping, base jumping, rope swinging, zip-lining, jetboating, skydiving, canyoning, paragliding, helicopter riding, white water rafting, rock climbing, cage fighting with the editor, and numerous other extreme activities that sounded far too ridiculous to be true. In the end we decided we’d go really wild and do Parkrun (a 5k organised run on a Saturday morning), followed by a walk round the shops, and then to top it off, a bike ride on our final day. These were easily enough excitement for someone who has all the adrenalin rush they can cope with popping to the toilet in the middle of the night. 

Of course, a 5k run is not without its dangers and this ‘finely honed’ athlete managed to pull his ankle resulting in the ignominy of walking the last 2.5km with everyone passing asking if I was OK and did I need some assistance? Queenstown is the only Parkrun I’ve been to where they start off asking if anyone running is actually from Queenstown. There were only two out of 220 runners. Most were from other areas of New Zealand with a good representation from Australia, all four corners of the UK, some from the US, and two from the Scottish Highlands (one of them limping). Even with the ankle it was a good experience, although I suffered later hobbling round the shops. I’m not the world’s most enthusiastic shopper so it wasn’t all bad, being a great excuse to sit down at various strategic points that served ice cream, or to catch up on the cricket score from back home (we lost). 

Because of Queenstown’s popularity, it is now the most expensive place in NZ. The average house price in 2024 was 1.8 million New Zealand dollars (about £900,000) and the vast majority of houses are rented out as holiday lets. This has forced many workers and business people to sleep in cars, couches, tents, visitor hostels, and others have simply got up and left. It’s also contributed to a worker shortage among local businesses. As a result, there are many job vacancies and many short-term itinerate staff seemingly to be almost exclusively made up of school leavers from the UK on their gap year before university. In the first two shops we were served by a guy from Manchester who supported Leeds, followed by a guy from Leeds who supported Manchester (United). Others came from (in no particular order) Glasgow, Oxford, Surrey, Herefordshire, Birmingham but I couldn’t find any West Brom supporters, or indeed ACES members among them. 

Surprisingly there were no West Brom supporters or ACES members on our Bike ride from the old mining area of Arrowtown back to Queenstown on our final day. Most appeared to be from the US, including a very loud couple wearing matching Lycra who laughed far too long and far too loud at the guide’s humour while he was giving out the safety briefing. Once we were released to get on our way, we chose to delay our departure by having a relaxed breakfast, in an attempt to avoid bumping into Mr and Mrs Lycra on the trail back to town. Fortunately, it seemed to work although I’m sure we heard them on the odd occasion, even though they were several miles ahead of us. 

Back home in Scotland 

As I’m writing this, New Zealand seems half a world away (probably because it is) and we’re almost coming to the end of another busy season at the B&B. We’ve only managed to get a few days off during the summer months - so much for this retirement lark! 

The good reviews are still coming in (including from some ACES members who have stayed with us [Ed – see Steve Howe’s article]) and we’re getting a bit of a reputation for serving the best coffee on the NC500. OK, this has not been backed up by MORI or YouGov and I can’t really attribute the findings to any form of detailed scientific study. But when numerous guests from Italy, France, Switzerland, Austria, Netherlands, Germany, Dubai - and even someone from Dudley - all say it’s by far the best coffee they’ve had in Scotland, we must be doing something OK. 

It was somewhat of a disaster therefore when our ‘main’ coffee machine broke and had to be sent off for repair. So, a quick scoot on Facebook marketplace and a second hand ‘Sage’ machine was acquired in double quick time, even before one could say ‘Venti skinny caramel macchiato’. Leila had been after one for some time, so much so that if I was suspicious, one might jump to the conclusion that nefarious actions were at work in damaging the old one. My knowledge of Sage is limited to a rather fat feathery owl, but that’s a really obscure reference so I’ll be amazed if anyone actually gets it. 

The new machine has been in place for a few weeks now and I’ve been given the training in Baristanomics required to operate it without supervision, handrails or a safety net. I can’t say my ‘Latte Art’ is coming on fast but I did create something that looked like a constipated unicorn the other day. Our coffee ratings are still great and to add to the excitement we’ve been playing predict the beverage (guessing whether people will choose coffee or tea for those who are trying to work it out) each morning. I’m not competitive in these things of course but have to share that I am currently in the lead with 80.724% success rate, with Leila languishing on 73.962% (QS approximation of course). We did get one guy asking for instant coffee. He didn’t seem too upset when I explained the error of his ways and asked him to leave. 

Ullapool hike 

Knockdamph Bothy	Scottish Highlands Sunset
Loch and Trees	Highland Loch

As mentioned earlier it’s been all go and with the summer flying by, so we blocked off bookings for a couple of nights in order to have a rest. Someone’s idea of a rest was a 30-mile two-day hike to Ullapool, while my idea of a rest was surprisingly ‘a rest’. In the end we had a vote and did the Ullapool ultra hike. I’m still trying to understand how this voting thing actually works; maybe I need to get MORI or YouGov on to that one as well? 

The walk kicked off at Croick with its church famous for the poignant messages scratched on the windows from 1845 when 80 or so refugees from Glencalvie were ejected from their homes as part of the Highland Clearances. We then tromped off with food, sleeping materials and clothing to cover any conditions ranging from a Caribbean beach holiday to Scott of the Antarctic. 

In the end it was probably closer to the latter, with the remnants of Storm Floris playing its part. The heavy rain of the previous few days had left its mark on the path resulting in regular detours to get round the flooded bits; two easily walk-through streams prior to the rain now involved the removal of shoes and socks to wade through the knee-deep water. We were quite relieved when we arrived at our salubrious accommodation for the night. 

Knockdamph Bothy, also known as ‘Noc Dump Buffet’, is an old stalker's cottage, which according to the Mountain Bothy Association offers a basic but functional space. While there are stories and accounts suggesting the bothy has a spooky atmosphere, there's no definitive evidence to confirm it's actually haunted. Some visitors have however reported feeling uneasy or experiencing unexplained sounds. One blog even describes it as the "most haunted bothy in Scotland”. I didn’t tell Leila this before we went, so keep it quiet. Clearly everyone else had heard however, as we were the only ones there. 

I must admit it did take some time to get to sleep, and the dogs were restless. There was some knocking from time to time; the Victorian woman dressed in black who stood in the corner and stared at us was a bit strange; then there was the howling from outside, but the old lady sat in the attic rocking away didn’t seem phased by any of it. In the end we survived. It wasn’t the best night’s sleep I’ve ever had, but woke slightly refreshed with just under half of our journey to go. 

The scenery got better and better in between the sun, showers and howling wind, the food at Ullapool’s famous Sea Food Shack, when we finally reached our destination, has never tasted better. Two days later and my feet were starting to feel more or less normal and the all-round body aches and pains are starting to subside. We’ve even been discussing other potential hikes in the future. I’m clearly going slightly mad, or maybe I’ve passed that point already?